


Meta on Spaceships

by Swordsoul2000



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Meta, Mind Control, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slavery, TW: discussiion of mind control, Teacher-Student Relationship, tw: discussion of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-21 09:49:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6047134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swordsoul2000/pseuds/Swordsoul2000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>my rambling assorted meta on Star Wars, my theories, my character headcanons, my rabid defenses of unfairly maligned characters, and my vicious thoughts on why some heroes would be better off as villeins.  if that makes you mad, don't read it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ground Rules

Ok.

This is my meta. This is where I ramble on about my headcanons, and fan theories, and how I make sense out of the Star Wars Universe. All of this is my own opinion. 

And I ask that you, my readers, respect that. 

I know that I'm going to have opinions that many would consider controversial. For instance, I hate Obi-wan Kenobi. I know, heresy, right? But I do. I even hate him worse than I do Palpatine, because Palpatine is unequivocally a Bad Guy, and Obi-wan is ostensibly a Good Guy, and to see him do so many things that are morally questionable at best, and outright evil at worst makes my blood boil. In my opinion, Anakin Skywalker is a better and more moral person than Obi-wan and I know just how loaded that statement is. 

Frankly, I don't care. This is my meta, my headcanons, and my opinions. I'm doing this because my brain is bursting with meta, and this is what I feel like writing. No other reason. 

If you want to discuss any of my opinions/meta in a reasonable civilized manner, you can feel free to comment. If, on the other hand, you want to flame me, tell me that I'm WRONG, or be otherwise uncivilized, there's the back button. Use it. My opinions aren't going to be for everyone and if you don't like that, feel free to click right on out of my meta and don't come back. Good bye, so long, won't miss you. 

That settled, welcome to the inner corridors of my mind... don't mind the mess.


	2. Obi-wan's Trauma is No Excuse

I've been seeing a lot of “poor Obi-wan” stuff around the internet, going on and on about how traumatized Obi-wan was, how he truly loved Anakin, all the horrible things that happened in his life, and the thing is, they are all true. 

All of it. Obi-wan Kenobi is a deeply messed up individual, who seems to be the favorite punching bag for the what ever the Star Wars equivalent to divinity (that's not the Force) feels like taking out their angst on ever. All of that is true. I am not denying any of it. 

But I find that I have little to no sympathy for his plight, because of the way he deals with that trauma. Or, more precisely, the way he doesn't. 

Obi-wan Kenobi's life is a series of tragedies. I get it. But one of the ways he copes is he takes out his trauma on his student, Anakin Skywalker. 

Backing up slightly. Anakin in TPM and Anakin in AOTC are radically different characters. TPM Anakin is full of hope, he wants more than anything to help people, and he's so brave that it almost brings tears to my eyes – in ways that have nothing to do with participating in a podrace or climbing into an unoccupied starfighter and accidentally joining a dogfight. The way he walks into the confrontation with Sebulba (because he knows he's valuable property and Sebulba won't want to face the fine for killing him) the way he looses his nerve and runs back to his mother, the way he faces Queen Amidala looking for his friend Padme (he doesn't know that they are one and the same person) the way he stands before the Jedi Council while they debate his fate, the way he tells Qui-gon “I don't want to be a problem.” all of it speak to a genuinely kind person who knows who and what he is, never mind that he's not in double-digits yet. He's so put together and confidant in himself that it's mind-boggling. Especially when you contrast it with what comes next. 

AOTC Anakin is broken. At the start of the movie. As in, long before the Tuskan Massacure, the death of his mother, or the loss of his hand, Anakin is already broken. He's not quite the shattered figure who is named Darth Vader just yet, but he's cracked clean through. The seeds of his eventual destruction are not just sown, they're flourishing. And that's at the START of the movie. 

There has to be a reason for that. And it's not just Palpatine. There's only one scene between Anakin and Palpatine in this movie, and if you didn't know just how those two characters were going to end up, you'd find nothing untoward in that scene. The entire scene can be summed up in one line, “I'm pleased to see that the Council is finally beginning to trust you with responsibilities. I've always thought you would one day be the greatest Jedi ever known.” or words to that effect. And alright, that's buttering Anakin up, but it's also the logical extrapolation from all the “Chosen One” kerfuffle that was in TPM. 

Obi-wan though, Obi-wan spends the entire movie setting off alarm bells for me. First he reams Anakin out in Padme's office – in front of Padme and her security chief – when Anakin has a genuine point, if not being completely correct. That has a direct correlation with the scene where Padme undercuts Anakin during the audience with Queen Jamilla. Every chance he gets, virtually every scene he has with Anakin, Obi-wan is critical of his padawan, and he even talks down Anakin behind his back, during that walk-and-talk he has with Yoda and Mace Windu. I think he honestly compliments Anakin exactly ONCE in the entire movie and that with a quick “good job!” 

None of that reads like a healthy relationship to me. None of that reads like, 'I loved you too much to ever admit it to you'. None of that even reads like “Two friends who spend too much time together and know each other too well.” to quote Ewan McGreggor. What it reads like to me is, Anakin desperately wants to impress Obi-wan because of his position of Authority over him, and is never quite able to do so because Obi-wan will never be satisfied. And it also reads like to me, is that Obi-wan isn't dealing well with his trauma, but can never admit to it, so he vents by taking it out on Anakin instead, who, due to his subservient relationship with Obi-wan can't get away from it. 

And what really gets me going, is that Anakin himself is a much better teacher to Ahsoka than Obi-wan was to him. 

No one can deny that Anakin in Clone Wars has issues. He has problems. He's taking slow, deliberate steps toward the Dark Side and his eventual fate. But he NEVER, not ONCE, directs that against Ahsoka. 

And Ahsoka has her own issues. She has her own issues with attachment, not only toward Anakin, Padme, and Obi-wan, but toward Plo Koon, who was her Qui-gon Jinn and brought her to the Temple. I'm going to state for the record though, I have exactly zero impressions that Plo wanted Ahsoka for his own Padawan, because if he wanted her, he could have claimed her well before she turned 14. She's reckless, impatient, prideful, has a lot of the same faults Anakin himself has, and Anakin does remarkably with her. He's able to guide her around and out of many of the same pitfalls he himself is ensnared in, until she's far stronger than he ever was. Until she's strong enough to stand on her own two feet and tell the Jedi Council “No. I'm sick of your crap. I'm done.” 

To use the abuse metaphor – not that I'm saying Obi-wan's treatment of Anakin is abusive, though I'm not saying it's not either – Anakin is a survivor. Obi-wan is a re-abuser. And yeah, I know how twisted that sounds, considering where both characters end up, but that's their teaching dynamic. You even see shades of that cycle of abuse in Obi-wan's interactions with Luke in the OT. 

And don't try to tell me that the reason Ahsoka was able to stand on her own and walk away from the Jedi was because Obi-wan was her co-master. That directly contradicts the early episodes of Clone Wars where Obi-wan is nowhere to be found, and/or only has one scene via hologram. At the start of Clone Wars, Anakin, Ahsoka, and the 501st are clearly operating independently from Obi-wan and the 212th and Anakin is doing a fantastic job with his charge. 

But back to Obi-wan and Anakin and their relationship during AOTC, the only reason I can assume for why this doesn't get more play, is that most people would rather assume that AOTC doesn't exist. But the fact of the matter is that it does, and it informs a lot of things in subsequent movies. 

Like, why Anakin can't confide in Obi-wan when he's stressing out about Padme dying. It's not just that Obi-wan blew off his dreams about Shimi's torture, though that's part of it. He can't talk to Obi-wan because internally he's still the teenager who doesn't want to get yelled at (he is only 23). He can't talk to Obi-wan about his marriage, because he believes that Obi-wan will take that straight to the Council and Anakin will get kicked out of the Jedi. He can't talk to Obi-wan about any of his misgivings, because the one time he tries in ROTS, Obi-wan shuts him down like it's still AOTC. And as messed up as his relationship with Obi-wan is, it's still the strongest relationship he has in the Jedi Order, and he's not nearly as strong as Ahsoka was to simply walk away from it. 

And what that conversation Anakin has with Obi-wan in ROTS tells us, is that Anakin is still that very moral kid he was in TPM. He tells Obi-wan “You're asking me to go against the Law, against the Code, and against a friend. Why are you asking me this?” Why indeed. 

And Obi-wan answers, “The Council is asking you.” Yes, the Council is asking this of Anakin. The Council that YOU are a part of, that just HUMILIATED him. That Council is asking him to go against everything he believes in, and everything the Jedi as a whole are supposed to believe in. And somehow, they never considered that it would end badly. 

So when I see one of those “poor Obi-wan, he had such a hard life” posts, my blood starts to boil a bit. Because yes, he did have a hard life. But he didn't have to save himself by shoving his student under, and then compound that sin by leaving said student to burn to death when he has two humane options open to him. And grind it in a THIRD time, by setting up said student's son to commit unknowing patricide. 

Also, if you take him at his word, and he really did love Anakin, he uses that word in the past tense on Mustafar. As in, “I did love you once, but not anymore.” As if that makes leaving him to die a horrible, agonizing death ok.


	3. Poe Dameron and how there is No New Trio in TFA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. You guys are amazing. It's been so long since I posted something that I forgot how it feels like to get comments. in one 24 hour period I've gotten more comments than on any of my fics here on AO3. And I warned you guys up front. 
> 
> I know you guys were looking forward to my thoughts on Mustafar, and I know I'll get to that shortly, but I wanted to get away from the uglyness of my Obi-wan hate for just a bit. So here's something a little more cheerful.

I have a problem with Poe Dameron, and it has nothing to do with him as a character. Seriously, Oscar Issac plays the part brilliantly, I loved his geeking out with Finn over Finn's shot while they escape the Star Destoryer, and even loved the one-sided gay romance between him and Finn. (on a side note, how did Star Wars, the franchise that gave us that horrific slave bikini, give us a gay major(ish) character before liberal, and "socially progressive" Star Trek? Something to ponder.)

But the problem persists. Or rather, it's two problems. The first one is mostly because he is entirely absent for a part of the first Act, and the entirety of the second. And that's fine, except that treatment is for secondary characters, who enter and leave the story at irregular intervals while the plot is happening around the protagonists. 

Which would be fine, except everyone and their mother is convinced that Poe has equal significance to Finn and Rey because Star Wars always has a central trio. The OT had Luke, Leia, and Han. The PT had Anakin, Obi-wan and Padme. It would be reasonable to assume that the new trio is Finn, Rey and Poe, except Poe drops off the map for most of the movie. Han has more of a presence in TFA than Poe does, and Han is firmly slotted into the Obi-wan/Qui-gon role as the mentor, right down to dying in a dramatic fashion before the very eyes of his charge(s). 

Not only that, but Poe's influence on the story is over when Finn tells BB-8 that Poe didn't survive the crash. That's Act ONE. Sure, it's good to see him later – I did say that I liked the gay angle, even if it was one-sided – but anyone could have brought Finn to Leia so they could plan the assault on Starkiller base. Yes, Poe does make the shot that destroys it, but by then I had already tuned that part of the story out because it hit far too close to ANH, to the point where the climax was robbed of tension for me. Literally. As soon as the firing countdown began, I relaxed rather than got tense, because I knew what was going to happen from there on out. But that's for another topic another time. 

And do not tell me that Poe was more active in the novelization. It should not the job of a novelization to convey missing scenes. You read novelizations for backstory, to learn details like what exactly that particular thingy is actually called, and for internal monologues that might be hard for the actors to show on screen. You can have extended scenes, but the moment you add things that did not appear in the movie itself you've gone off and started a completely different story. And if I have to read supplemental materials like a novelization to learn what a supposed main character is doing when he's been completely cut off by the editors, then they weren't doing their job. Because if it was important for me to know, they should have included it. But again that's part of another rant on TFA. 

As a slight digression, the best novelization I have ever read was for Michael Bay's 2007 Transformers movie. Yes, you heard that right. You know what they did for that book? They told the story the way it appeared on screen, with a few added details here and there that enhanced the visual experience upon re-watching the movie. For contrast, one of the worst novelizations I have read was the novelization for Pacific Rim, a movie I loved. What they got wrong? They portrayed the main character in a way that was completely unrecognizable from the way the actor, Charlie Hunnam, played him on screen. 

And as for the second problem I have with Poe, and his status in the supposed “New Trio” he shares no scenes with Rey. He's got a great relationship with Finn, but Rey might well as not exist for him. They do not share a single scene in TFA, nor do they exchange a single line of dialogue. The closest they get during the entire movie is Poe racing off with the medics taking care of Finn before Rey exits the Falcon. 

Let's put this in perspective: What would ANH look like if Leia only interacted with Luke, and never shared a screen with Han. What would TPM look like if Obi-wan was completely oblivious of – and never met – Padme? In both those cases, it neither would work. Han and Leia's interactions are a huge part of why rewatching ANH never gets old, even when you've seen that film so many times that you can quote the dialogue from memory. And Padme Amidala – and the way she plays with her identity – is so much a part of TPM that to have Obi-wan be completely oblivious to her doesn't work. 

And yet, here's Poe, and it DOES work to cut him completely off from Rey. Why? The answer has to be because he's not on the same character tier as she is. Poe is on the same story level as Leia, who comes in, puts in her two cents, adds her bit to the plot, and then gets out of the way for the protagonists to do their thing. 

In conclusion, TFA does NOT have a trio. TFA is, in fact, the Rey and Finn show, with occasional guest appearances by Poe Dameron, and Leia Organa.


	4. How Luke Skywalker single-handedly saved the Rebel Fleet above Endor

I know. You're squinting at the title, wondering how it makes sense. Luke spent the entire battle aboard the Death Star, where he couldn't have influenced the outcome one way or another, and was in serious danger of catching a case of death the longer he stayed. And that's exactly how he did it. 

Backing up. It's plain from the briefing scene aboard the Alliance Flagship, that both Luke and Leia are not majorly involved with the Alliance anymore. In fact, for the longest time, I've had the headcanon that after when Luke went AWOL after Hoth to train with Yoda (I know, harsh, but that's what he did) Luke was no longer officially affiliated with the Alliance. And Leia, she's clearly in major doodoo with Alliance High Command by the time ROTJ rolls around.

Because far from the revered leaders that both twins were at the start of ESB, neither Luke nor Leia had any official role in the Endor assault. Lando's leading the fighter squadrons, a job that ought to belong to Luke. I know, they could have gone with Lando because Luke was taking his sweet time coming back from Degobah and the deadline on this Last Stand of the Alliance was coming up, but that only underscores my earlier assessment of Luke and his priorities concerning the Alliance. Han's running the commando run on the shield generator, not Leia. Both Luke and Leia are left so much to their own devices that they'd have been left behind if they hadn't volunteered to join Han. 

And I know, there were Story Reasons like, having the Trio work together on Endor in a way that they haven't really since the (First) Death Star, that things had to shake out the way they did. But I'm trying to puzzle out the in-universe explanation, so here goes. As a further note, this does not incorporate any EU or nEU canon, just the OT. 

First of all, the mission to rescue Han was NOT authorized. Note that Luke and Leia has just Artoo, Threepio, Chewie and Lando for backup. No Rogue Squadron. No Alliance soldiers. No “official” backup. It's just our Heros. They're on their own. In fact, they're there in direct defiance of Alliance orders. Mon Mothma, Admiral Ackbar, General Madine, all of them thought pissing off Jabba to rescue Han was a fool's errand with VERY low probability of success at best, and with a high chance of Jabba sending out his goons after the Alliance and throwing his lot in with the Empire at worst. I'd imagine that the Alliance relies heavily on it's black market contacts, and pissing off the head of one of the biggest crime syndicates out there is NOT a good idea. It was one thing to have Han be an active member of the Alliance with a price on his head, it's quite another to invade Jabba's throne room to get back a guy who's made it clear on several occasions that he's not a True Believer. But we all know how Skywalkers respond to Authority, so the Twins fucked off to Tatooine as soon as they determined where Han was and how to get him out. 

That, on top of Luke loosing his x-wing at Bespin (and you know how important each and every craft would be to an organization as strapped for material as the Alliance would have to be), and both his and Leia's tardiness at reporting in at the fleet after Hoth, means that both Luke and Leia lost their positions in the hierarchy, and a good bit of their security clearance. See Leia not knowing that Han had been placed in command of the shield generator mission. 

But why, you ask, why is Lando and Han trusted when Luke and Leia fell from grace? Because Han (clearly) had no agency in Luke and Leia's decision to disobey orders, and Lando was following Leia's lead. That's part of the price of command, when you fuck up, you get slapped down twice as hard as those under your command because you should have known better. It's possible that Lando didn't actually join the Alliance until after Han's rescue, which meant that High command couldn't touch him. And in fact, given the fact that Lando was instrumental in Han's capture in the first place, Lando risking his neck to free him probability put him in good standing with the Alliance, and shutting up any doubters that Lando is an Imperial Stooge. 

Ok, that makes sense, so what does all this have to do with how Luke supposedly saved the fleet. 

Because Palpatine didn't NEED the Death Star to be operational to destroy the Rebel fleet. The Imperial Starfleet, led by the Executor, was more than capable of destroying it on it's own. Admiral Ackbar AND Lando both acknowledge that fact. “We won't last under concentrated fire of that magnitude!” “We'll last better than we will against that damned Death Star.” And yet, all capitol ships destroyed by the Empire above Endor were destroyed by the Death Star. 

And there is a very good reason for that. Piett says it explicitly: The Imperial Starfleet had strict orders to hold position and NOT engage until the Emperor gave the order. And that order never came. 

And the reason it never came, is because the Emperor was so busy toying with Luke. And Vader, who also could have given the order, is also consumed with the effort make Luke Fall. 

And yes, I know, Vader being Supreme Commander of the Fleet is no longer canon, and is not even in my headcanon due to revelations about Vader's general lack of agency and how the popular impression of Vader does not line up with how Vader actually appears in the OT. But that's for another rant. 

But I do believe, that if Vader had given Piett the order to engage, Piett would have followed it, if for no other reason than his personal loyalty to Vader. And he could even justify it, given that Vader is, if only on paper and not in terms of actual power, the Emperor's Heir. But again, Vader is too busy dealing with Luke to give any thought to the actual progress of the battle. 

Even when Rebel ships are all over him, and Piett gives the order to fire, he's very clear: Executor's gunners are to employ DEFENSIVE fire ONLY. They are NOT to ATTACK. And by then, it's too late. The out-of-control A-wing pilot kamikazes into the bridge, and it's all over for Executor. (though, I will confess, every time I see the shot of Executor's death throws, where she plows into the side of the Death Star and explodes, there's always a moment of dissociation, where I can't quite understand just what it is that I'm seeing. But that's my issue.)

So, to tie it all together, here's my recap. If Luke hadn't disobeyed orders and gone to rescue Han, he and Leia wouldn't have be on the outs with High Command. If they hadn't been on the outs with High Command, they'd have been saddled with their own responsibilities in the Battle of Endor. If Luke had specific responsibilities that kept him from trying to save his father, the Emperor would have ordered the Imperial Starfleet to annihilate the Rebel Fleet long before the shield went down. And because Luke kept that order from being given, Ackbar, Lando, and the rest of the Fleet had a fighting chance.

(Also, it took the combined efforts of Leia, Threepio, and Luke to get the Ewoks on their side, even if Luke's only contribution was a bit of well-timed levitation. And we all know how critical the Ewoks turned out to be. If Luke and Leia had their own projects, they wouldn't have been there AND they wouldn't have brought Threepio along with them.) 

And that is how Luke Skywalker saved the Rebel Fleet.


	5. Filoni's Foul Ups

Like most of the people reading this, I fell head over heels in love with Clone Wars. The Clones, the interactions, Ahsoka, Anakin, Padme... I could go on and on. But there are some elements that I have no choice but to regard as flat out mistakes on the part of the creative team behind Clone Wars, not so much for what they themselves are, but what the implications of those elemenets say. That in no way dampens my appriciation for Clone Wars as a whole, but, while I can see what Filoni and his team were trying to do, it backfired. Hard. 

1\. Obi-wan having a love interest.

Just for the record, I headcanon Obi-wan as an aromantic asexual, if only for his reaction to the knowledge that Anakin is the father of Padme's unborn child(ren). The way Ewan Mcgreggor plays it, it's as if he knew Anakin and Padme were close – and it would be hard for him to not know that, given how horrible both Anakin AND Padme were at hiding their relationship – but not that close. If you loot at Obi-wan being an aro ace, and Anakin as being demisexual, Obi-wan probably came to the theory that Anakin was a lot like him. Even if there weren't a lot of other asexuals in the Jedi Order, people judge normal by themselves. He truly had NO IDEA that Anakin and Padme were that close, and that bewilderment is clear in his voice when he asks, "Anakin's the father, isn't he." 

Also, part of the reason I headcanon Obi-wan as an aro ace, is that the strongest, most consuming feeling he experiences is his friendship/familiar bond with Anakin, no matter how one-sided that actually is. (see my previous rant on Obi-wan.) And even that is so strong that it twinges on what his Jedi Sensibilities as “improper” so he hides it. (and how horrible is it, that the love someone feels for a close family member – which is how I read how Obi-wan sees his relationship with Anakin – is something that's considered “shameful” and must be hidden. The mixed signals Ankain must have gotten from Obi-wan must have frustrated the living daylights out of him. Yet more examples of how fucked up the Jedi are in the PT era.) 

but wait, you say, Clone Wars is considered mostly canon, so no matter how I headcanon Obi-wan as an aro ace, he does have a love interest, and I have to take that into account. And so I do. But I'm not sure Filoni did. 

One of the issues Filoni had when making Clone Wars, was that ROTS had already been released. Like Lucas himself when making the PT, Filoni had to think not just the story at hand, but the entire saga as a whole. And something that must be addressed, is that Anakin didn't feel comfortable talking about Padme to Obi-wan, when it seems as if the entire point of giving Obi-wan a love interest in the first place was to give him something in common with Anakin. 

Ok. Consider. Obi-wan has a love interest. So does Anakin. So why then is Anakin, in ROTS, so convinced that he can't talk to Obi-wan about his worries for Padme, when Obi-wan ran away from the war, from the Jedi when Satine was in danger? Why is it that he can't discuss this with his mentor, when he clearly knows that they have this in common? Why is Anakin so sure that if he confesses to the sin of being in love, a sin he knows Obi-wan was guilty of as well, why is he so sure that he'll be kicked out of the Jedi if Obi-wan knows? Answer: their relationship is a lot worse than even I think it is, and there's a limit to the amount of fucked-up-ness on the part of Obi-wan that even I am prepared to contemplate. So, I'd prefer to dodge the issue entirely. 

And while we're at it, I don't like Satine as a character, disconnected from her status as Obi-wan's love interest. Part of it is that I got into SWTOR recently, and I just finished the Smuggler storyline, and Satine, over the course of her episodes, violates each and every tenant of the Resole'nare. I think she was trying to skate on the “Obey Mandelore” portion, except Padme Amidala is more of a Mand'alor than she is. I'm not joking. Look at the way Padme plans the operation to retake Naboo in TPM, or her battle prowess in the Arena in AOTC. Adopt her into one of the clans, given her a set of armor, and lessons in Mando'a, and Padme would take the title of Mand'alor for her own, almost without meaning to. Satine is the stupid kind of pacifist, except when she's not, who relied on her connections to the Jedi to bail her out of tough spots, and the more she did that, the more she proved how unworthy she was for her position. As a leader, as a politician, and as a Mandelorian Satine failed on virtually every count for me. No wonder practically every time the show cut back to her, someone was trying to throw a coup. Eventually, it had to work. Practically the only thing I like about her is her cutting introduction of Obi-wan in Voyage of Temptation, and that could be given to almost any other character. 

2\. Ahsoka's dream visions.

At some point (I'm not sure exactly when, possibly season three?) during Clone Wars, Anakin leaves Ahsoka on Corescant for a bit, and while Ahsoka's moping around the Temple, bored out of her montrails, she starts getting visions of Padme being assassinated in her sleep. Ahsoka's sleep, that is. So she does what is apparently Standard Jedi Procedure when faced with inexplicable visions, go have a chat with Yoda. 

And Yoda, despite what he tells Anakin in ROTS, basicly tells Ahsoka to trust her judgment. Of course, things work out in the end, Ahsoka foils not one, but two attempts to kill Padme, plus one false alarm, the day is saved, and our heros survive to fight another day. Well done all around. Except. 

I have two issues with this arc. And they related to two different PT era movies. The first one has already made the rounds on the internet, and have to do with Yoda giving Ahsoka different advice than he did Anakin, and how Filoni was most likely trying to soften that moment in ROTS but only ended up making Yoda seem harsher than he did before. Well done Filoni. I think that was NOT the intended result. 

The other issue relates back to AOTC, and Obi-wan's 'attempt' to council Anakin about his dreams regarding his mom's torture, and eventual death. The only reason, the ONLY way I can give Obi-wan a pass for that “Dreams pass in time” line, is if typical Jedi DON'T receive visions when sleeping. It's certainly plausible that they receive such visions while meditating, or actively seeking out knowledge of the future, but Anakin's experiences are unprecedented. The last time (if any) some other Jedi experienced visions during their sleep was so long ago that it's buried in the Archives, and possibly degraded so much that Madame Nu or one of her predecessors deleted it as incomprehensible data. What Anakin is going through is so far out of normal Jedi experience (thanks to his enormous untapped potential) that Obi-wan has no reference points for what he's going through. He honestly thinks that it's all in Anakin's head, and advising him to just forget about it is the best advice he can come up with. 

But here's Ahsoka. Having visions just like Anakin. The way the visions are portrayed, we are meant to connect it with what Anakin sees in ROTS. Now, Ahsoka might not be a typical Jedi Padawan (how could she be, with Anakin as her Master), but she is far more a “standard” Jedi than Anakin could ever be. 

The sheer fact that Ahsoka is actually HAVING visions in her sleep invalidates each and every defense for Obi-wan's reactions to Anakin's visions of his mother dying. Because if this is, in fact, a known and common Jedi ability, then Obi-wan switches abruptly from “not understanding, but awkwardly doing his best to help” to “actively trying to stifle Anakin's natural abilities” if not “deliberately messing with Anakin's head because not wanting an innocent woman to suffer and die is Wrong and Evil, and if Anakin is going to be a Jedi, he needs to forget everything that ever mattered to him. And if he can't do that he's Bad.” 

I don't like Obi-wan. I freely admit that. But even I prefer Option 1. But that option can't happen when force visions while dreaming is a known Jedi ability, not one so far beyond the reach of all but those conceived by the Force itself. And if the former is actually true, then I don't like what that says about Obi-wan, and the Jedi as a whole. The entire reason Anakin is panicking so badly in ROTS when he starts to dream about Padme, is that he's certain that NO ONE can understand what he's going through, and that his wife and child(ren) are going to die unless he does SOMETHING. But if it was a normal ability, and there was a way to make sense of and properly process Anakin's visions – as is implied by Ahsoka getting them too – then Darth Vader happened for nothing, and could and should have been prevented, and that is something that I'm not sure I can forgive.


	6. Childhood

Let's look closely at young Obi-wan Kenobi.

We first meet Obi-wan Kenobi (chronologically) when he's thirteen. Thirteen, and not yet a Padawan. In fact, he's not going to get the chance to become a Padawan, because he's just been shunted to the Jedi Service Corps, where failed Initiates languish for the rest of their lives, while the lucky few who get handpicked by a Knight or Master continue in their careers, and become Jedi themselves.

It's implied, that if an Initiate isn't picked by a certain age, they're transferred to the Service Corps. The branch Obi-wan is being sent to is called the Agri-corps where he'll be a farmer for the rest of his life.

But the thing is, that most people seem to miss, is that Obi-wan DIDN'T age out. He's thirteen, and Ahsoka was fourteen when she became Anakin's Padawan. That's a whole year of difference (and the Clone Wars haven't been going on long enough for it to be a factor). And we get no indication that Ahsoka was EVER destined for the Service Corps. No, Obi-wan is being sent to the Agri-corps because he “lost control of his anger” engaged in an unauthorized spar, and sent the other initiate to the Infirmary.

In other words, he lost his temper, started a fight, and put the other kid in the hospital.

Does that sound like Jedi behavior to you? Particularly when you look at the REASON Obi-wan lost his temper: the other kid was calling him names.

Look, I get it. Kids are cruel. They think it's endlessly funny to butcher and mangle someone's name, and if they can get in something gross, or semi-obscene all the better. I should know, they did that to me when I was younger. But compared with what the kids in the schoolyard came up for me (and no, I will not share what it was), “Oafy-wan” is downright KIND.

And the only reason Qui-gon even met Obi-wan, was because Yoda pulled some stings to delay Obi-wan's departure, so Qui-gon could look the boy over. Qui-gon looks him over, says “nah” and off Obi-wan goes to the Agri-corps to become a farmer. Later, of course, Qui-gon runs across Agri-corps member Obi-wan Kenobi, has Adventures with him, decides that he was Wrong, and formally takes Obi-wan as his Padawan. A happy ending for all.

Except, I'm not so sure.

TPM shows us Qui-gon and Obi-wan have little in common. Despite being together for nearly twelve years (Obi-wan was 25 in TPM) they aren't NEARLY as in sync as Anakin and Ahsoka became after only a few months. Moreover, Obi-wan feels quite ready to criticize Qui-gon's actions (and can you imagine the carnage that would ensue if Anakin DARED to do the same to Obi-wan?) and even his morality. In short, I'm not sure their relationship was nearly as healthy as it appeared.

Not to mention, the specter of Xanatos, Qui-gon's previous Padawan. Who Fell to the Dark Side – but never joined the Sith, just took over/founded an EVIL corporation and made both his old Master and his master's new Padawan run in circles trying to catch him/halt his schemes. A lot has been made about Xanatos, and Qui-gon's feelings of guilt surrounding his Fall. And how his fears of history repeating itself were the reason why he rejected Obi-wan in the first place. Most people in the fandom tend to dismiss Qui-gon's objections, thinking that they were misguided at best.

Except, Obi-wan's own behavior gave credence to those fears. What emotion is most emblematic of the Dark Side, so much so that Emperor Palpatine was deliberately cultivating it in Luke on the second Death Star? Anger. And what did Obi-wan do? He got so ANGRY, over STUPID SCHOOLYARD TAUNTS, that he put another kid in the HOSPITAL. If anything is setting off all of Qui-gon's mental alarm bells regarding Obi-wan, it's this incident, showing that out of all the Initiates in the Temple, Obi-wan is the one most likely to follow Xanatos down the path to the Dark Side. And Qui-gon can't do that again. (And now that I think about it, why is it that Qui-gon is the only master who can 'save' Obi-wan from the Agri-corps. If Yoda was so enraptured by his 'potential' why didn't he take Obi-wan as Padawan himself? It's not like he was training anyone else at the time, to say nothing of the other masters on the Council/in the temple.)

And, as we see with Anakin and Ahsoka, no Jedi is OBLIGATED to take on a student. Encouraged, yes. Obligated, no. Taking a Padawan is strictly voluntary, because the relationship is so close – the closest relationship the Jedi permit themselves – the damage a resentful master can do to their student is incalculable. Anakin and the damage he suffered from Obi-wan's training is a case in point.

And speaking of Anakin, let's look at a similar time of life for him, and how he responded to his share of classroom bullying. As we see in the Obi-wan and Anakin comic, Anakin wasn't nearly as lucky as Obi-wan when it came to schoolyard taunts: not with the massive targets painted on his back from both his late arrival to the Temple – and thus having to catch up to his peers by taking lessons with Initiates far younger than him – and the oozing emotional wounds inflicted by his past as a slave. Both of those factors would be blood in the water for just this kind of taunting.

So, in the comic, we see one incident that happened in lightsaber class. Anakin is going through a solo exercise in front of the class – he modified the training droid to project a hologram of Darth Maul – and is sailing through with flying colors, when one of his classmates starts snickering about how no matter how good Anakin gets with a lightsaber, he'll always be a slave to his emotions. “Yeah,” another one replies, “Just a slave.” (emphasis comes from original text.)

Of course, it's perfectly pitched so Anakin can hear it. But he doesn't lash out. He doesn't challenge his tormenters to a fight. He doesn't beat them to a pulp. He uses the Force to pluck their lightsabers from their belts, and still holding them in the air, activates them with the blades pointing toward their owners. Then he asks them what emotions THEY are experiencing at that moment. In other words, he keeps his temper, and challenges their own emotional responses.

That's MUCH greater provocation than Obi-wan experienced, and FAR more restrained a reaction. And yet Obi-wan is always the one fandom considers to be the Perfect Jedi and even when he's nine years old and knows nothing of Jedi ways, ANAKIN is considered to be the dangerous one.

In RL, there are serious consequences when one kid assaults another one, especially if one kid ends up needing medical treatment. In an organization like the Jedi, where emotional control is paramount – so paramount that they take kids away from their families before the age of memory to make sure that familial loyalty and emotions are never a factor in their development – I would imagine the consequences to be even more severe.

In that context, Obi-wan putting that other kid in the Infirmary is a serious warning sign that he doesn't have what it takes to be a Jedi. That he can't be trusted with a Jedi's power. That he doesn't belong in their ranks.

And unlike with Anakin, Yoda is the one to give him the chance to rise above. The favoritism Yoda shows is sickening, when you think about it. Thirteen year old Obi-wan looses his temper, gets into a fight with another Initiate, puts him in the Infirmary, and Yoda says “Give him another chance.” Nine year old Anakin stands bravely and serenely before the Jedi Council to be considered, Yoda pokes and prods and digs VERY deep to get at Anakin's fear – fear he was CONTROLLING no less, fear that YODA brought up to the surface – and soundly condemns him for it, implies that Anakin is going to turn into a ravening monster on the spot, even when all the ACTIONS Anakin has shown, show him to be an excellent candidate for Jedi training. One could make the argument that Anakin's willingness to selflessly put himself on the line for people he had just met (aka the podrace), shows an instinctive aptitude for Jedi ideals that the Jedi themselves only rarely live up to, just as Obi-wan's ACTIONS putting the other initiate in the Infirmary would indicate that he had a problem with aggression and anger and had a short fuse would indicate that he was at serious risk for Dark side tendencies.

But all of that is irrelevant, because nine year old Anakin is the future Darth Vader and so the circle-jerk fanboys – who only engage with the very surface of a text – not only dismiss his actions, but say that Lucas got it WRONG. AND they cheer on Yoda's hypocrisy, because EVERYONE knows that Obi-wan is not only meant to be a Jedi, but the VERY BEST Jedi of them all (That's Luke. Anyone who says differently is lying).

In short, looking strictly at their respective pasts, I would be hard pressed to identify ANAKIN as the one who was destined to Fall to the Dark Side, while being similarly baffled that Obi-wan was destined to be regarded as the Noble Pure Jedi, despite all the morally questionable things he does in ANH alone.

 


	7. Obi-wan's Choices

Mustafar

I know you've been waiting for this. Mustafar is a trainwreck all around, for all concerned, but Obi-wan's sins start well before he even arrives on planet. And the worst part is, it didn't have to happen that way at all. But in each and every case, Obi-wan consistently chose the worst possible outcome and choice he could have made and this is a large part of why I can't forgive him. 

1) He deliberately sends a pregnant woman after a man he knows has killed children. That was Obi-wan's game plan when he sought out Padme in her appartment. The fact that he immediately went to stow away on Padme's ship proves that her reaction was planned and accounted for the moment Obi-wan opened his mouth to tell her that Anakin had Fallen.

And the thing is, he didn't have to do that. All he had to do is spin some “certain point of view” about how he's worried for Anakin, he didn't see him at the ruins of theTemple – which Padme knows about – he's worried that Anakin is in over his head and do you know where he went. And Padme, who's worried about Anakin herself, who knows Obi-wan, who TRUSTS Obi-wan, would have eaten that with a spoon and pointed him in the direction of Mustafar. 

2) Obi-wan's timing exiting Padme's ship. Ok, so Obi-wan didn't take the scenario I proposed and stowed away on Padme's ship, sending her into danger (and seriously Lucas, having Obi-wan hide in the fresher? When a known symptom of late-term human pregnancy is significantly reduced bladder capacity? He was BEGGING to get caught hiding there). Fine. I don't like it, but fine. Ok. But he didn't have to put Padme in further danger by coming out of her ship at the worst POSSIBLE time, when Anakin's paranoia is ramped up to Eleven by the Dark Side, and Padme is justifiably wigged out by how much her husband has changed.  
He could have used either the Force or a stunblast to put Padme to sleep, deactivate Threepio to prevent the droid from sounding the alarm, gone out to meet Anakin, and while there would still be a fight, Padme would have been kept out of it. Or even gone out with Padme when the ship landed, and been in a better position to protect her. 

But there's something that I want to specifically address and that's this: Anakin does NOT lash out against Padme UNTILL Obi-wan arrives. Sure, he's angry, and upset with her, but it takes Obi-wan's arrival to tip the scales until violence. 

Because of the timing Obi-wan chooses, it really DOES look like Anakin's Dark Side fueled paranoia IS CORRECT. And PADME SEES IT TOO. It's there in the quick glance back to Obi-wan before she turns to Anakin and starts stuttering denials. The only one who DOESN'T see how this looks is Obi-wan himself. And apparently, the audience. 

So. Anakin Force Chokes Padme unconscious, which did NOT kill her, but it DID jump start her labor. I follow the fan theory that Palpatine drained her life-force to keep Anakin alive long enough to become Vader, and you will notice that the “lost the will to live” line comes from a DROID, who you would NOT expect to properly diagnose Force Drain. 

The two combatants drop their cloaks (because that is what Jedi do when SERIOUS BUSINESS is afoot) and circle. Which brings me to point 3. 

3) Anakin gives Obi-wan his back before the fight. This is HUGE.

Deliberately giving an opponent your back is a potent nonverbal sign Star Wars fans first saw in ROTJ. (Seriously, there's a LOT of references and callbacks to ROTJ in ROTS. So many that it really boggles the mind.) On Endor Luke deliberately turned his back on Vader. So here, Anakin turns his back on Obi-wan. (and just for bonus shits and giggles, a lot of what Anakin says here echoes Luke's dialogue from the corresponding scene, which plants Obi-wan in the Vader position, which is... very interesting.) 

There are two ways of reading this, and it all comes out to the same thing anyway. The “good” way to read this gesture is “I'm giving you this opening because I trust that you won't take advantage of it.” the “bad” way to read it is “I'm giving you this opening because you are so insignificant compared to me that even if you do take it, not only will I survive, but I will devour you whole for the attempt.” Both of which comes out as, “I'm not threatened by you.” 

And remember, Anakin is VERY firmly on the Dark Side at this point. He just nearly killed the woman he loves above anyone else in the galaxy because he thought she had betrayed him, and he's STILL demonstrating that he trusts Obi-wan.

And what does Obi-wan do in response? He draws his lightsaber. He gets into stance. He ignites the blade. He MAKES himself a threat. 

And Hayden Christensen has a split second of perfect body language in response to that action. He slumps. Just slightly, but it's enough. Just enough, to communicate that Anakin knows. Knows that from now until the End of Time, Obi-wan Kenobi will be his enemy. 

To reiterate: Anakin might have struck the first blow, but Obi-wan started the fight. 

4) Obi-wan's lack of Mercy. This is the one that REALLY bothers me, and, judging by some of the responses I got to my first piece about Obi-wan, plenty of other people as well. 

First of all, Obi-wan had options. He had two, sane, HUMANE options open to him, and he took neither of them. That's on him. He could have saved Anakin's life, or he could have killed him cleanly. After what Obi-wan saw at the Temple, I can understand why he would hesitate to choose the first option. I really do. It's the option Luke would choose, the option Luke DID choose when he went to the Death Star to battle the Emperor for his father's soul, but it's not the choice Obi-wan would make. I get that and I respect it. That doesn't change the fact that it was an option that was open to him. 

But the fact that he didn't take the second option, that I don't get. It's the choice Leia would make, the choice ANAKIN would make, were their places reversed. It's the humane choice, the JEDI choice, the one that avenges the Temple Dead in a manner they might have chosen themselves, it deprives Sideous of his shiny new Apprentice, it's the last gift a master can give his Padawan, and Obi-wan withholds it.

And even then, if he simply turned around and left, if he merely abandoned Anakin to his fate, I would have understood. But no. he stands there, on the lava bank, and SCREAMS at Anakin, trying desperately to inflict maximum emotional wounds on his former student before the fire takes him. Stands there in all of his Holier-than-thou Jedi morality and yells about all the way Anakin has let him down. 

And STILL he stands there, as Anakin catches fire and starts screaming in pain. There in a REASON the Inquisition used it as a LAST RESORT punishment for RELAPSED heretics ONLY. At an Auto de Fe, one of the Spanish Inquisition's big punishment fairs, out of hundreds sentenced, only one or two would face the flames. Burning alive is possibly one of the very WORST POSSIBLE ways to die. Obi-wan Kenobi STANDS there and WATCHES until there's nothing left of Anakin in that writhing fireball. Only THEN does he turn and leave. 

Now, it has been theorized that the reason Obi-wan left Anakin behind was that he needed to check on Padme who was last seen lying unconscious on the ground. I say BULLSHIT. See above where Obi-wan took his SWEET TIME hanging around WATCHING his so-called BROTHER writhe in agony. MAUL got more mercy from Obi-wan than Anakin did. If he was in such a hurry to make sure Padme was alright, then he wouldn't have lingered on the lava bank to scream at and watch Anakin die. 

It has also been theorized (by at least one individual who's name will not be mentioned, and likely won't ever realize that this meta exists) that Obi-wan simply made a mistake, and that I shouldn't condemn him for that. Again, BULLCRAP. According to the Jedi Path, the move Obi-wan uses (I can't recall the name of it) to sever Anakin's limbs is SUPPOSED to sever ALL the limbs, INCLUDING the neck. In other words, that move is supposed to decapitate the opponent and kill them instantly, and the only reason that it didn't – and that Anakin kept his prosthetic arm – is because Obi-wan PULLED the blow DELIBERATELY. Pulled it, so Anakin could SUFFER. 

And for anyone interested, this was not something Lucas developed for the PT. This was ALWAYS part Anakin's (Vader's) backstory. There is reference in the ROTJ novelization that has Ghost Obi-wan telling Luke how his father toppled into a lava pit (and I suppose he was simply clumsy, and fell in of his own volition? He wasn't, shall we say, helped along, and deprived of any resource to save himself, was he Obi-wan?) and emerged as Vader. 

So, to recap, Obi-wan had options open to him on Mustafar, and even before then. He deliberately and CONSISTANTLY made the WORST POSSIBLE CHOICE of all the the choices open to him. Dark Side Anakin Skywalker made the most potent a nonverbal gesture of trust short of holding Obi-wan's lightsaber to his own throat, and Obi-wan was the one to sever their relationship. Then Obi-wan sentenced Anakin – someone he professed to LOVE, that he considered FAMILY – to a long, drawn-out, horrific, PAINFUL death, and he has to stand over him and inflict painful emotional wounds while he does it. 

That last bit, Obi-wan standing on the bank SCREAMING at Anakin, is why I hate Obi-wan Kenobi. There are other reasons, of course, but that is the big one. How can ANYONE call themselves “good” after doing something so pointlessly, horrifically cruel. Even aside from all the dodgy stuff he does in the rest of the franchise – and yes, I count CW as part of the franchise, and the Reko Hardeen affair was downright EVIL (also my wake up call for how fucked up Obi-wan can be) Mustafar is without a doubt the worst. Because he didn't HAVE to be so cruel. And yet he was.


	8. Fixing The Force Awakens

The main problem with The Force Awakens, is that it was trying to be two separate movies at once. The new story, with Rey and Finn, and ANH 2.0. Both stories were awkwardly squashed together, and neither of them came off well for it. With that in mind, I have a number of potential changes that could be made to improve both plot and character development, that STILL takes the canon opening crawl as read. 

1\. Get rid of Starkiller Base. Wad it up and toss it into the figurative bin. If TFA is going to stand on it's own, it needs to get rid of the ANH storyline, and nothing is more emblematic of that storyline than the SUPER DEATH STAR PLANET that is Starkiller Base. Right down to the countdown during the final battle which made me RELAX rather than clench up because I knew how this was going. 

2\. Poe either doesn't exist, or he dies during the crash. Because no matter how great Oscar Issac's performance was, his story ends when Finn tells BB-8 that Poe died. Poe's only tie to the rest of the story is through Finn, and has ZERO CONTACT with Rey WHATSOEVER, and those promoting Poe to trio status because “Star Wars ALWAYS has a central trio” are just deluding themselves. Because TFA simply doesn't have one. I have an entire chapter on this meta on how Poe is NOT a main character. 

3\. No Deus ex Droid ending, where Artoo just HAPPENS to have the rest of the map to Luke. No. that's a cop-out. That's “oh shit, we've only got so many minutes left in the movie and we need to wrap this up.” If you are going to posit in the opening crawl that the movie is about the hunt for Luke Skywalker, then commit to that. Do something where Kylo Ren has one piece, Leia has a second, and BB-8 (aka our heros) have the third. That way we've got dramatic conflict – you need all three pieces to find Luke, we've got our act breaks, our great, big battle sequence, and a falling action after the climax where they actually find Luke.

4\. No Han/Leia breakup. Please. Let SOMETHING from the OT survive in the ST. 

5\. No screw-ball, can't-keep-a-deal-to-save-his-life, can't-do-anything-right Han Solo. I mean, I have to wonder if JJ Abrams actually SAW the OT – despite his professed love for the movies – because he get's Han's essential competency so completely WRONG. True, he failed to pay Jabba back, and ended up in carbonite for it. But he HAD a plan, AND THE MONEY to pay Jabba back, to the point where he told Leia in ESB that he had to pull out of the Alliance because he needed to take care of this. That's what triggered their epic fight in the halls of Echo Base. The sequence where Han is introduced in TFA is played completely for laughs, and undercuts so much of Han's character to do so. 

6\. Give Rey some solid, frigging BACKSTORY. Everyone talks about the twist in ESB. But the only reason it WAS a twist in the first place, is that it caught the audiences so COMPLETELY off guard. We KNEW (or thought we did) the story of Anakin Skywalker, and who Darth Vader was. Watching ANH, there is NO indications that Obi-wan is lying (even if you know he is watching it from hindsight) when he tells Luke his father's story. But with Rey, they danced around the fact, dressed it up in pretty-fancy lights that there was missing information in play, and created a hype train that's going to be virtually IMPOSSIBLE to pay off. What they should have done, was dispensed with the mystery with a single line, like they did with Finn. We know his backstory, maybe not all of it,but we have a good idea. That can be expanded, or even contradicted for great storytelling effect later, but for the love of the Force, give us SOMETHING to chew on. 

7\. Snoke. Is a problem. The reason Emperor Palpatine worked so well in the OT was that Lucas knew enough to use him SPARINGLY. We see Vader, Darth-fricking-VADER go in his KNEES before the Emperor, we see Moff Jerjerrod wet his shorts in fear at the knowledge that the Emperor would be visiting Death Star II. We see all of that well BEFORE we spend any kind of time with the Emperor, which really doesn't happen until the third act of ROTJ. Seeing the influence of the Big Bad, seeing other badasses REACT to the Big Bad, is FAR more scary than any oversized hologram giving Kylo Ren his marching orders. 

8\. Get rid of Hux. Hux is really only there to play Tarkin to Kylo Ren's Vader, and if we've already eliminated Starkiller Base, than he's completely redundant. Instead, promote Phasma to the position of number 2, or secondary villain, who can be much more relevant to the plot in regards to Finn's defection, and Kylo Ren's subsequent scrutiny of the First Order's Stormtrooper Corps. Possibly her goal is to redeem her honor and the honor of her men by wiping out the stain that is Finn, because if one defects and survives, it's going to happen again, and again, and again, and that can't be allowed to happen in the kind of atmosphere the First Order fosters. 

9\. Toss the tantrums. They're unnecessary, they suck up time, and work AGAINST Kylo Ren's impression as a credible threat. 

10\. The Cantina scene. Get rid of it. It's wrong in two, very different ways. First, it's flashback inducing to that famous scene in ANH (only saved by the skin of it's teeth by the noticeably different score), and SECOND, Star Wars is an established enough property that people expect to be able to recognize some of the alien species on sight. It's one thing for the Very First Film to have a bar full of strange and weird creatures, it's something else for the seventh - possibly eighth or ninth considering CW and Rebels – incarnation of a franchise to do the same. I'm not saying that all the aliens have to be things we've seen before, but how about a twi'lek or two, maybe a rodian, deveronian ,or even a talz propping up a bar stool here or there, just so we can feel as if we are playing in an established universe here. If you absolutely MUST have it, then sprinkle some established aliens in the mix, or better idea, nix it entirely, because it slows the story down. 

So, how would the film play out with these changes? Well, here are my thoughts. 

Most of Act One is the same, right up until the introduction of Rey. Give her some solid foundation and backstory, have her meet BB-8, then Finn and they escape Jakku (though why does it have to be a desert planet? They get points for having it NOT be Tattooine, but lose half of them again for having it be Tattooine 2.0) together. 

They meet up with Han, who hassles them, gives them a hard time, but ultimately takes them straight to Leia and her group, which is NOT named The Resistance. Seriously. NO. They bypass Maz Katana, no matter how AWESOME she is, because that detour slows the story down. Rey already has the lightsaber from somewhere, but she can't get it to work/it's in pieces for some reason or another, and part of her personal storyline involves fixing it/making it her own. They join the piece of the map they have with Leia's fragment, and work out that there is still a piece missing. 

Kylo Ren – who might or might not be actually Ben Solo – has the last bit, and he's been hunting both other fragments ever since he massacred the village in the prologue. Tracking BB-8, hunting Leia's nameless group, and he pinpoints their location toward the top of Act Three. Rey and Finn volunteer (to prove their loyalty to Leia's group or some other such reason) to infiltrate Kylo Ren's ship and find the third fragment, WHILE Kylo Ren launches a massive attack to do the same. He's aided by Phasma who is motivated to prove her loyalty and that of her troops in the wake of Finn's defection. 

We get multiple climaxes. Finn overcomes Phasma. Rey manages to complete/fix the lightsaber (possibly with Leia's help, because Leia has a lightsaber of her own, even if she doesn't like to use it/carry it around) and beats Kylo Ren. Leia's forces manage to triumph against the First Order Fleet – at least for the moment. They steal the last map fragment, and Kylo Ren calls a retreat. The Day Is Saved!!!!

Artoo puts the last piece into place, they find Luke, bring him home, and Leia gets to hug her brother. Especially if Han dies. I hesitate to cut that part entirely given that both previous trilogy openers featured the death of a mentor to encourage the mentee, possibly Han deliberately stays behind, buying time for Rey and Finn to either reach the last map fragment or escape – that would give Harrison Ford the canon death scene he's been asking for since ROTJ – as well as give him an appropriately heroic send-off. Not to mention that scene of Carrie Fisher as Leia reacting to Han's death is some of the best acting in the entire film. 

I'm not completely happy with the Kylo Ren = Ben Solo (and WTF is up with that name? Leia never knew Obi-wan as Ben, and Han couldn't stand the guy. It would make far more sense to give him the name Bail, after Leia's adoptive father) storyline, but I can work with it. But if so, remember that Lucas went out of his way, in both the OT and the PT to highlight Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader's lack of personal agency, which turns out to be the root cause of both his Fall and Redemption, and if Kylo Ren is going to be the central antagonist for TFA and the rest of the ST, then you cannot copy/paste the Darth Vader character onto Kylo Ren – and JJ tried. Moreover, he tried to copy/paste the Darth Vader Power Fantasy(tm) which never actually existed in either the OT or the PT, and if JJ was truly such a big fan of Star Wars, he ought to know that. 

What you'd have to do, to keep the Kylo Ren = Ben Solo (I'll continue with it for clarity purposes) story is to make it clear WHY he ended up the way he did. Do NOT only put that shit in the novelization, because there will be people who only watch the movies WILL MISS IT. This is NOT a case of Lucas skipping clean over the Clone Wars, this is what would have happened if TPM never included Anakin's past as a slave, but kept it in the novelization and relied on it to explain his reactions throughout TPM and the other PT movies. 

That's why I said to get rid of the tantrums earlier. Not only are you reducing the effectiveness of your primary villian, they make no sense to someone who is only watching the movie. If it is such a big part of Kylo Ren's backstory that Snoke was influencing his mind as a child, then SHOW it to us. Show us that Snoke is STILL doing it. Show us Kylo Ren sleeping, or meditating, hear Snoke speak as a voiceover, then have Kylo Ren communicate Snoke's 'instructions' to someone else, and also possibly hear that same voiceover “instruction/indoctrination” while Kylo Ren is awake. Have him reverse course once or twice because of this, have him confess to Han that he still hears Snoke in his thoughts, and THAT is why he cannot do what Han is asking him to do. None of that “Tempted by the Light” bullcrap, because when I hear that, I immediately write off Kylo Ren as someone who can ever be redeemed, because what that says to me is that he KNOWS what the right thing to do is, part of him WANTS to to do the right thing, and he CONCIOUSLY CHOOSES to do Evil, possibly just for shits and giggles because no other reason is presented to the audience. 

So, this is what I would do to streamline TFA into it's own story, one unconnected from ANH. For all that people like to shit on the PT and TPM in particular, at the very least Lucas TOLD A NEW STORY(that's partly WHY he got so much shit from so-called “fans”)in that movie. TPM broke new ground, fleshed out and expanded the world we thought we already knew. TFA tried simultaneously to catapult us into a whole new universe, and to tell us the same story we'd already seen. Unfortunately, given how much money it made, Disney is going to think that that's a good thing, that rehashing the OT is what people are going to pay to see, and I say that as someone who is excited to see Rogue One. 

Hopefully, now that JJ has been tossed into the rear-view mirror, hopefully never to taint Star Wars or any other major SciFi franchise with his sticky fingers again (I will NEVER forgive him for Star Trek Into Darkenss, not the least of which the way he blatantly LIED to his fanbase as to the identity of the villain, who was a MAJOR mistake to include), Star Wars can get back on firm footing as to the level of storytelling that we saw in the OT and the PT movies (yes, I said that. I didn't say it was executed well, but it was there).


End file.
